Each one of us has personal Saviors who act in behalf of our general Savior for us. It is most common that these Saviors are within our own family, ward, or community. It is a total blessing for us to have someone right before our eyes, face to face, talking and listening to us and imparting the Lord's word to us for our specific situations. When we can share our hopes, dreams, frustrations, and true feelings with another person who understands us, supports us, and guides us, this interaction makes life better and more manageable, not worse. We have a place to "lay our head." We have a personal Savior who is operating through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ who has our best interest in mind and heart.
“God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.” ~President Spencer W. Kimball
There is a statue of Christ that was damaged in a war with missing hands and a sign at its base that says, "You are my hands."
“A story is told that during the bombing of a city in World War II, a large statue of Jesus Christ was severely damaged. When the townspeople found the statue among the rubble, they mourned because it had been a beloved symbol of their faith and of God’s presence in their lives. Experts were able to repair most of the statue, but its hands had been damaged so severely that they could not be restored. Some suggested that they hire a sculptor to make new hands, but others wanted to leave it as it was—a permanent reminder of the tragedy of war. Ultimately, the statue remained without hands. However, the people of the city added on the base of the statue of Jesus Christ a sign with these words: ‘You are my hands.’” ~Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf
When God allows us to be his hands, he gives us the opportunity to develop sustainable relationship of Amae with our family, friends, and community. These are like the covalent bonds we learn about in chemistry. If we all relied directly upon God for all our needs, we would not be able to establish bonds with each other. We would all bond directly with God but not with each other.
Family Bonding
Because we are all separated from God and his immediate love to a certain degree, we all have the need for Amae. Our spirits need spiritual nourishment to live just as our bodies require physical nourishment to live. God designed families as the primary way we receive both physical and spiritual nourishment. Functional families successfully provide this nourishment and thus bond with each other. Dysfunctional families struggle with the ability to provide it and that bond can't be formed. Most families fall somewhere in between totally functional and totally dysfunctional. Because we may not be able to provide the level of nourishment our children need or because our parents may not be able to do that for us, God provides back-up resources. Back-up Redeemers.
The Fall
Sometimes the inability to provide Amae may be ascribed to purposeful negligence and abuse but other times it may be ascribed to objective random reality. The imbalanced relationship that results in dysfunction may only be a result of random circumstances. In other words, we can probably safely attribute the overall cause of dysfunctional conditions to the conditions of the Fall. Sickness, death, natural disasters, lack of maturity, generational neglect and abuse. The list of inherent weaknesses and misfortunes goes on! All of it can be categorized under the Fall. One dysfunctional condition causes another dysfunctional condition and like dominoes we all go down. The Atonement of Jesus Christ redeems our AGENCY. It gives us the power to overcome the conditions of a dysfunctional upbringing. It provides us with Amae where we didn't have it. If choose him (and his back-up resources) as our Redeemer these Fallen imbalanced conditions can be corrected.
My Specific Adversity: What Happened?
What exactly happened to me as a child? As is the case for all of us, God primarily provided that needed spiritual nourishment through my family. That was my first-line resource growing up. Because that was dysfunctional to a given degree, I also had dysfunctional behavior before I learned to turn to my Redeemer for re-functionalization. Thankfully, part of the Atonement of Jesus Christ includes giving each of us Time to find Him and recognize how to turn to and rely upon his Redeeming love.
My parents divorced when I was really little. I barely even remember my dad. He thought it was best to completely sever ties with us so I didn't grow up knowing him. In my teenage years I had some positive interaction with him. He was very kind. But I never had that father/daughter belonging relationship with him that would fulfill the purpose of family for me.
I’m not sure why my biological father did what he did so I don’t want to go into that. I’m only sure that it was a combination of the Fall and his own choices. So he left our family early on. He left us to the care of my mom and eventually to my step-dad. My step-dad was born and raised in an abusive culture. I know he was verbally and physically knocked around a lot by his parents and siblings. So that was passed along to him and then to me and my siblings.
From his family line, he learned that the solution to get children to obey was to force them to obey through physical pain or threat of it. The imbalanced character trait went like this: If children do not do what you say, you should increase their physical pain. In Behavioral Psychology--Operant Conditioning--this would be called Positive Punishment. Increasing or adding an undesirable stimulus like whipping a horse to get him to run faster. It is hitting a child after she has done something wrong in efforts to create a fear in her to not repeat that behavior again. If you consistently train a child like this she is going to assimilate those character traits, whether she would choose it or not.
These imbalanced methods of training children can indirectly promote other imbalanced character traits in a child when they are the primary methods by which she learns to make her choices. If she did not know she was doing wrong in the first place, punishment was used as a teaching method, and if this training was repeated throughout her childhood, what would be the consequence? What would she learn? I know what I learned—a fear that whatever I did could possibly be wrong. No space for trial and error. No time to make mistakes without the hammer of swift and painful judgment coming down on my head. It was not okay for me to be imperfect in any way. I developed an ultra-self-correction mechanism almost like an auto-immune disease and a major self-defensiveness against anyone who attempted to correct me. I will correct myself before anyone has a chance to punish me. That was my unconscious attitude. As I grew older, I grew angry. And this is probably the same process that put such intense and virulent anger into my step-dad before me. The results of the Fall--generational abuse and neglect. Lack of Amae.
Neglecting to Protect
The problem is not just in passing on dysfunctional love and character traits but it’s also in NOT passing on functional Amae and character traits. What does a child become when she is not protected by her parents? What happens if the very ones she should go to for safety, comfort, guidance, and support are the ones she has to hide from? How does she develop faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ? Where does the vital nourishing love come from? How can a child learn how to be merciful if she never was given it? The answer is that she doesn't. Instead she learns to protect herself. She learns that no one has her back. She believes there are no Back-up Redeemers. She learns to Turn and Revile Again.
I share this story knowing that almost everyone has experienced generational abuse and neglect to some degree. And if we see it in ourselves, we may be tempted to evaluate ourselves in Toxic Shame or to evaluate our parents in Toxic Blame. My goal is to objectively see these things as the product of ignorance and the Fall. There may also be sin involved in the mix but it is not my business to be the judge between sin and ignorance. All that I need to understand in reviewing these facts is the objective fact that these specific conditions are the result of the Fall. When I recognize them as such, I can get to a place where I understand how the Atonement of Jesus Christ can be implemented to resolve the conflicts that the dysfunctional relationships have created for me. These are the resultant conflicts that I may still be struggling with today. Therefore, to resolve my present conflicts becomes my purpose for seeking to understand the past.
Back-up Redeemers
When the level of love and training our parents provide for us is not enough, the Atonement of Jesus Christ operates on our behalf. God knows what is going on. He works to put into place subsequent levels of resources that redeem us--compensate us. Our siblings may step in to help us because of their mercy and God-given abilities. They can be a resource for us especially when our parents are not. But since they are usually still learning and growing, as we are, and are receiving the same level of dysfunctional training, they often are not capable of playing this role for us. Yet mine did to a certain degree. My older sister was a beacon of light for me. She consistently read her scriptures, prayed, and went to church, which gave me a clue that these resources might be valuable to me as well.
We are all only required to do what we are willing and able to do. Love and Amae are about voluntary sacrifice, not forced sacrifice. We can't force people to love us. If we are willing, we can increase our ability to sacrifice over time in order to provide Amae for others through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. But if a parent is not aware of this chance to improve or is not willing to develop his ability to sacrifice for his children, our Savior knows about our situation and will send alternative resources. Others are called into action. Those others can be extended family members, friends, and members of our church.
I had a few other Back-up Redeemers growing up. My grandparents, my best friend and her family, and my church, its programs, and many of its members. These resources retrained me in important ways to learn how to obtain my desires and resolve my conflicts using higher skills than I was raised with. I discovered for myself that the prophets, scriptures and personal prayers were a vital resource for me. But it wasn't until I developed the faith to really depend upon these resources, and specifically upon Jesus Christ who my church and the scriptures were pointing to, that my Amae needs have been completely redeemed.
In the past few posts, I've been telling the story about how the Savior has been changing me from someone who had the habit of Turning and Reviling Again to someone who Stands Steadfast in Him. While my entire life has been a training period to develop this skill, the level of training began to increase in 2005. That was when I finally had had enough of the way I had been living. It was when I stopped putting my trust in man and in the arm of the flesh and started putting it more in God.
“O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.” ~2 Nephi 4:34
In the beginning of 2005 I began to write my prayers down and take my communication with Heavenly Father much more serious. I felt prompted to read a book called Drawing on the Powers of Heaven by Grant Von Harrison, which my mom had given me a few years earlier. Thanks to my mom and this author, I learned how to see my life as one goal achievement process after another. I learned how to use my prayers to work with God on each one of them. My daily prayers were official meetings with Him to which I needed to come prepared. These meetings took place in my prayer journal. I wrote my goals down and made them the topic of each of my prayers. I believed these goals were in sync with the things he wanted me to work towards. Here's the list I wrote down in May of 2005:
• Health: Get Well
• Weight loss
• Mother: be a better mother, patient, loving, steady, wise spiritual instincts in every situation
• Writer/Teacher: finish my book, teach others what I've learned about nutrition and balance
• Marriage: Fall in love with my husband again
Then I wrote down all the things I promised to do on a daily basis that I knew Heavenly Father wanted me to do. These were things I had personal control over.
• Read scriptures (personal, w/husband, w/family)
• Read parenting book
• Pray (personal, w/husband, w/family)
• No yelling at kids or husband
• If I'm upset, leave the room
• Attend all meetings
• Act upon every spiritual prompting
• Make schedule, stick with it or revise
• Sleep for 7-9 hours
• Exercise--walks
These things became my commitments--my promises to God. His promise to me was to help me obtain my goals.
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:” ~Matthew 7:7
“Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time.” ~D&C 6:14
Each day I would report on the commitments I kept. I would then write about the conflicts that came up in trying to keep them. I had questions about these conflicts so I wrote them down. In response, a scripture would come to my mind. Sometimes it was a song I knew or a story I had previously read. I realized he was answering me! And the method by which he was answering me was bringing things that I had read, heard, or seen in the past into my mind. So it was a good thing I had spent years reading the scriptures. He had a large volume of stories and key verses to choose from.
See another post on this topic: I Need To Communicate!
Whenever we repeat any process we become more efficient at it. It becomes an ability. A strength. So in the beginning of writing down my prayers, it took a little longer to receive the answers. And when they did come, it took me some time before I recognized them for what they were. More often than not he answered them through other people, their writings, teachings, conversations, and creations. As I continued this process, my faith increased incrementally. I was able to receive his answers much more quickly. In addition to the scriptures, songs, and stories, I started hearing answers straight in my thoughts--in an original idea or impression. I wrote them all down. So now he usually communicates what he's thinking through pure meaning almost like our minds are one. Then, when I write down what he 'thought to me' I use my own words to describe it.
“When it is for the Lord’s purposes, He can bring anything to our remembrance. That should not weaken our determination to record impressions of the Spirit. Inspiration carefully recorded shows God that His communications are sacred to us. Recording will also enhance our ability to recall revelation.” ~Elder Richard G. Scott
See blog post: The Voice Inside My Head
Listen: When You Say Nothing At All by Alison Krauss
I began each prayer with, "Dear Heavenly Father..." and then continued with the rest of the prayer. In time I became more organized. We had an agenda for each meeting and it was important for me to stick to it as much as possible.
I formed a new relationship with God, a closer one. It was more personal than it had been before. It was like he was committing to accept me into his family as one of his children. He would play the father role to me and I would play the child role even though I was almost 36 years old and married with 4 kids.
He is there for all of us no matter how old we are. He is our Redeemer. That means that he can make us whole even if other relationships have left us feeling alone, unable, and worthless. He will be our Father, our Friend, our Family.
“And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters;” ~Mosiah 27:25
Listen: "Born Again" by Newsboys
Last weekend I watched the movie “Joseph Smith: The Prophet of the Restoration” again. In one of my Special Ops Moms blog posts I wrote how I felt about the movie when I first saw it:
“When I sat in the theater after seeing this for the first time, I could not get up. I just sat there under the dim lights as everyone exited. Wave after wave of soul-piercing energy filled my heart. I didn’t want to let the emotion out because it was way too powerful and sacred. I just tried to contain it all inside of me. It wasn’t like I was just touched. It was more like the crashing waves of the ocean. So powerful. So true. So utterly sweet.
“Again, even in this account of Joseph Smith, I knew the depiction was not perfect. What movie or story can capture actuality? But who he really was came through to me in the interstices—in between the scenes. And the music certainly didn’t help in the way of controlling my emotions either. So much admiration! So much respect for him.
“Some people say we worship Joseph Smith. What I say is I worship Jesus Christ and if a man comes near to being like him, that worship mechanism in my heart activates. It’s telling me, ‘This is a man you can trust’ (D&C 1:38).”
When I watched the movie this weekend I was looking for the specific characteristics that made my heart do what it did. Why was I so profoundly moved by this person? Even after the 6th or 7th time seeing it, my heart was filled with the most intense admiration for a long time afterwards. I have come to recognize that when my heart feels that way, it is testifying of Christ. The characteristic I noticed the most in Joseph Smith was what I’ll call Standing Steadfast in Christ. I’m going to define that characteristic the way I see it in this blog post. It’s not a simple definition.
Synonyms and Definitions for Steadfast
Faithful • Loyal • Committed • Devoted • Constant • Tenacious
• resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering
• tending to keep a firm hold of something; clinging or adhering closely
• not readily relinquishing a position, principle, or course of action
The “in Christ” part of this characteristic is key. We can be tenaciously faithful to a Cause that is totally untrustworthy, imbalanced, Survival-of-the Fittest-like, and who will lead us in a direction that will prevent us from obtaining Sustainable Joy and Sustainable Life (false Christs and false prophets). So the adjective steadfast is not sufficient to describe this characteristic I saw in Joseph Smith. The “in Christ” part is what takes time defining. I’ll start out with some short definitions:
• resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering in studying the scriptures and applying what they teach to our lives
• tending to keep a firm hold on Christ’s doctrine; clinging to it or adhering closely to it even when persecuted or ignored because of it
• not readily relinquishing the Holy Ghost and what he is personally guiding us to do when the going gets tough
• not turning and reviling again when others abuse or neglect us
• taking the punch without punching back
“Some were lifted up in pride, and others were exceedingly humble; some did return railing for railing, while others would receive railing and persecution and all manner of afflictions, and would not turn and revile again, but were humble and penitent before God.” ~3 Nephi 6:13
“And now my beloved brethren, I would exhort you to have patience, and that ye bear with all manner of afflictions; that ye do not revile against those who do cast you out because of your exceeding poverty, lest ye become sinners like unto them;” ~Alma 34:40
Revile-
Criticize in an abusive or angrily insulting manner
Rail-
Complain or protest strongly and persistently about
The Preacher
During Joseph Smith’s early life, there were so many people trying to tell him what to do as he was searching for the truth. In the movie they depict an example of these Conflicting Causes with a local preacher character. He seemed to be a family friend. He was trying to convert Joseph and his family to his religion. That’s not a bad thing. Helping our friends learn about what we believe the truth to be is good. We all want to share a good thing when we find it. And this man appeared to be genuinely concerned about Joseph’s soul. The problem was what he was trying to teach him. It was false doctrine. For example, when Joseph’s oldest brother Alvin died the preacher told him that Alvin was lost—damned because he was never baptized. Joseph didn’t know if this was true or not but it caused him a lot of additional pain during a time when he was already grieving. Even if the doctrine the preacher was trying to convey to Joseph were true, was this really the best time to be shoving it down his throat? Whether the preacher meant well or not, he caused Joseph pain. It was a punch in the gut. So what was Joseph’s response? He heard the preacher out but did not respond. That doesn’t mean he agreed with him. In fact we know he didn’t. It’s what he didn’t say or do that amazes me. The natural response when people cause us pain is to defend ourselves.
Another example is when Joseph told the preacher about his sacred vision. The preacher responded by telling him there are no such things as visions in these days. He said God does not talk to people anymore. His communicating with man ended with the death of the apostles.
“Some few days after I had this vision, I happened to be in company with one of the Methodist preachers, who was very active in the before mentioned religious excitement; and, conversing with him on the subject of religion, I took occasion to give him an account of the vision which I had had. I was greatly surprised at his behavior; he treated my communication not only lightly, but with great contempt, saying it was all of the devil, that there were no such things as visions or revelations in these days; that all such things had ceased with the apostles, and that there would never be any more of them.” ~Joseph Smith—History 1:21
That’s pretty offensive. Joseph just told him that he did in fact see God the Father and his Son Jesus Christ. And this man was basically telling him to his face that he was a liar or that he was screwed up. He told Joseph not to speak of it again. Another verbal punch. How did Joseph respond? We know it hurt him inside. He wasn’t impervious to offenses and the sorrow they caused, especially from people who called themselves Christians. But Joseph said nothing. He didn’t turn and revile again. He could have verbally attacked that preacher in self-defense. But he didn’t. He just walked away. Silent.
“And the high priest arose, and said unto him, Answerest thou nothing? what is it which these witness against thee? But Jesus held his peace.” ~Matthew 26:62-63
“Then [Herod] questioned with [Jesus] in many words; but he answered him nothing. And the chief priests and scribes stood and vehemently accused him. And Herod with his men of war set him at nought, and mocked him, and arrayed him in a gorgeous robe, and sent him again to Pilate.” ~Luke 23:8-11
They Mocked Him
Additionally, during Joseph’s early life he was often mocked by the members of his community. In the movie this was depicted in a scene where there were a bunch of men working on the Erie Canal in 1823, among which was his older brother Alvin. When Joseph showed up one man mocked him in front of everyone for his beliefs, his values, what he professed to be true. All the men (except for his brother) joined in laughing their heads off. Pretty heavy punch by a large group of people. A mob-like verbal attack. Joseph didn’t respond. You could tell it hurt him but he did not turn and revile again. Alvin took him under his arm and left with him. That’s amazing in and of itself. By doing so, Alvin joined himself to the subject being mocked, which would put him under direct fire.
The following excerpt from Joseph's history is how he did respond.
“I soon found, however, that my telling the story had excited a great deal of prejudice against me among professors of religion, and was the cause of great persecution, which continued to increase; and though I was an obscure boy, only between fourteen and fifteen years of age, and my circumstances in life such as to make a boy of no consequence in the world, yet men of high standing would take notice sufficient to excite the public mind against me, and create a bitter persecution; and this was common among all the sects—all united to persecute me.
“It caused me serious reflection then, and often has since, how very strange it was that an obscure boy, of a little over fourteen years of age, and one, too, who was doomed to the necessity of obtaining a scanty maintenance by his daily labor, should be thought a character of sufficient importance to attract the attention of the great ones of the most popular sects of the day, and in a manner to create in them a spirit of the most bitter persecution and reviling. But strange or not, so it was, and it was often the cause of great sorrow to myself.
“However, it was nevertheless a fact that I had beheld a vision. I have thought since, that I felt much like Paul, when he made his defense before King Agrippa, and related the account of the vision he had when he saw a light, and heard a voice; but still there were but few who believed him; some said he was dishonest, others said he was mad; and he was ridiculed and reviled. But all this did not destroy the reality of his vision. He had seen a vision, he knew he had, and all the persecution under heaven could not make it otherwise; and though they should persecute him unto death, yet he knew, and would know to his latest breath, that he had both seen a light and heard a voice speaking unto him, and all the world could not make him think or believe otherwise.
“So it was with me. I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two Personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it; at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God, and come under condemnation.”
~Joseph Smith—History 1:22-25
Now that is the epitome of Standing Steadfast in Christ! He did not turn and revile again but he also continued to hold on to his deep convictions. The abuse and the negligence did not cause him to change his position or to keep it hidden. He held steadfast and took the punches without punching back, while maintaining his course of action. So incredibly like Jesus!!!
“Jesus answered him, I spake openly to the world; I ever taught in the synagogue, and in the temple, whither the Jews always resort; and in secret have I said nothing. Why askest thou me? ask them which heard me, what I have said unto them: behold, they know what I said. And when he had thus spoken, one of the officers which stood by struck Jesus with the palm of his hand, saying, Answerest thou the high priest so? Jesus answered him, If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the evil: but if well, why smitest thou me?” ~John 18:20-23
“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:” John 1:12
It's never going to be popular to Stand Steadfast in Christ...until he comes again. Why? Because standing for him should test our faith. It should prove it. So whatever our individual circumstances, we will be tried. Expect it. Don't think something is wrong with you just because your getting persecuted for following the guidance you're receiving from Him personally. Do the best you can to determine that it is His voice you're hearing and then move forward knowing the punches are going to come from somewhere.
“For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; I say, trample under their feet but I would speak in other words—they set him at naught, and hearken not to the voice of his counsels.” ~1 Nephi 19:7
This account in Joseph Smith’s history in combination with his whole life of repeated refusal to to return reviling and railing stand as retribution in and of themselves. They were a solid testimony against all those who persecuted him or treated him like he and his message were worthless. In the end Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, and all those who Stand Steadfast in Christ in the face of adversity receive the heavenly glory. The other guys get none of it. That's a pretty heavy consequence.
“Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” ~Matthew 5:10-12
“He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day. For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak. And I know that his commandment is life everlasting: whatsoever I speak therefore, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak.” ~John 12:48-50
Saying Nothing vs. Objectively Answering
Standing Steadfast in Christ is not just about saying nothing in response to a verbal punch. There are many example’s in Christ’s life in which he did respond to contentious, persecuting, accusing people. But he kept his response objective. It wasn’t about vengeful self-defense. It was about teaching them and all of us who are watching him. It wasn’t full of uncontrolled emotions that would compromise his ability to respond in balance. And so we learn from Him: Sometimes it’s best to not say anything at all because the person throwing punches is completely unreasonable or because we do not presently have control over our emotions. But if there are some in our audience that may be receptive and we can keep our response balanced and objective then we are also Standing Steadfast in Christ. Often times, as in Joseph Smith's case, we are able to write a true account of the event in our own history (journal) when our emotions are settled down. If we can hold our tongue even though we are emotionally compromised internally in very difficult situations, we can later report the truth, admitting our imperfections and describing the punches objectively.
"You know, you know, you know, you know we had it right
We don't gotta say anything
Don't gotta say anything
Don't say a word at all
Don't say a word at all
We don't gotta say anything
Don't gotta say anything
Don't say a word at all
Don't say a word at all"
~"San Francisco" 5 Seconds of Summer
I've heard my kids play the above song. I didn't really know what it was about but these lyrics at the end synced well with my soul especially with the topic in this blog post. They seem to carry a completely separate message than the rest of the song. They form a song in and of themselves. The rest is a little sketchy for the sacred message I'm trying to communicate in this blog post so if you find it on the web, forward it to 2.35. They removed the video I originally found and I can't find another one. But awesome musical talent.
In the next blog post I'll talk about the opposite of this strength. It's a weakness that I'm naming: Turning and Reviling Again. I'll do this in order to really drive home the value of Standing Steadfast in Christ.
One of the predominant characteristics of Jesus Christ is being Merciful. Some of the synonyms I use for Merciful are long-suffering, flexible, full of grace, forgiveness, gentleness, kindness, and patience. I love this quality in him. But it wouldn’t be as beautiful to me if I didn’t also know about his Just side.
Just
Some of the synonyms I use for Just are steadfast, immovable, powerful, intense, in control, driven, focused, committed, persistent, take-charge, and goal-oriented IN TRUTH. That last part—in truth—is extremely important to the description of this quality. There have been lots of tyrants in history that have been steadfast, immovable, and driven in their twisted beliefs and ideologies. What makes this quality so amazing in Christ is that it is combined with the Father’s pure truth. I want to spend a little time in this blog post highlighting Jesus’ Just characteristics but as I describe them I’m always keeping in mind that these qualities aren't as valuable to any of us unless they are used to promote truth and are dynamically balanced with Mercy.
Environmental Influences
I’ve been reading a little of Edersheim this week. I see that he believed that Jesus’ life and thinking were significantly influenced by his environment. He seemed to think our Savior formed opinions based on the opinions of others around him, like he was evaluating all of the arguable doctrines in existence to form an eclectic idea of what later turned out to be his doctrine.
“Other influences were at their silent work to weld His inward and outward development, and to determine the manner of His later Manifesting of Himself. We assume that the School-education of Jesus must have ceased soon after His return to Nazareth. Henceforth the Nazareth-influences on the Life and Thinking of Jesus may be grouped—and progressively as He advanced from youth to manhood—under these particulars: Home, Nature, and Prevailing Ideas.” ~"The Life and Times of Jesus The Messiah” by Alfred Edersheim, pg. 173
“But whatever the precise relationship between Jesus and these ‘brothers and sisters,’ it must, on any theory, have been of the closest, and exercised its influence upon Him.” ~"The Life and Times of Jesus The Messiah” by Alfred Edersheim, pg. 174
It almost seems like Edersheim was concluding that, because Jesus had these family members and was raised in a zealot-like community, and because he was raised in such a rural area to have witnessed scenes of nature so often, he turned out the way he did and preached the things that he did.
Edersheim discusses Jesus’ brothers and describes them as cleaving to widely ranging Jewish ideas that represented various parties and movements of their day. I see Jesus as hearing them, evaluating them, and maybe even entering into some discussion with them on their beliefs, but I don’t think their perspectives would have changed his views if they conflicted with His Father’s. He would have seen what was true about their ideas and also what was false. He would have had the ability to evaluate where exactly a philosophy deviated from truth to become false, which meant he also knew how to make it true again by correcting the specific imbalanced reasoning. We know he would have been able to do this spiritually because it’s exactly what he did physically when he healed the people of their physical disabilities, maladies, and diseases. He repaired the cellular dysfunctions in diseased eyes, ears, musculature, bones, or other body systems so that they regained homeostasis and could operate normally.
We can see how he would have responded to his brothers' viewpoints by how he responded to the various groups of people he came in contact with—the Pharisees, Sadducees, Scribes, Lawyers, Essenes, Gentiles, Herodians, Romans, Samaritans, etc. Hearing his brothers' arguments would have only given him a taste of what he would later encounter when he left Nazareth to begin his Ministry.
“Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.” ~Colossians 2:8
“Cursed is he that putteth his trust in man, or maketh flesh his arm, or shall hearken unto the precepts of men, save their precepts shall be given by the power of the Holy Ghost.” ~2 Nephi 28:31
The Son of God
I think that his environment, including family, nature, and prevailing ideas did influence the type of examples he used to convey his core doctrines to the people. It enabled him to know the people, empathize with them, and thereby be able to better communicate with them. But his core doctrines were not formed or changed by this environment. My reasoning behind this is that Jesus is the Son of God, not only in his physical genetics but also in his spiritual framework. His Father’s DNA was in him and his Father’s TRUTH was in him. And in this he was steadfast and immovable.
“I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things. And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.” ~John 8:28-29
Jesus Christ was and is the product of God. Everything he evaluated or experienced was purposefully and intently organized and defined through his Father's framework. The various societal movements would not have formed his core thinking and teachings. He received his doctrine straight from God.
“Jesus answered them, and said, My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me.” ~John 7:16
“…the works that I do in my Father’s name, they bear witness of me.” ~John 10:25
His environment just provided the movie screen of examples which played out various ways people and things could be balanced in truth or imbalanced in error. His family’s and community’s various viewpoints, the physical properties in nature, and the societal dynamics he observed only served as scattered building blocks for him to categorize into their appropriate positions in relationship to the framework of truth that was already in Him. And let's not forget he was the one who created all these things in the first place. His life experience must have been more like remembering who he was, what he had already done, and why he seemed to know all the things that he knew. Déjà vu must have been his frequent experience.
"...and many hearing him were astonished, saying, From whence hath this man these things? and what wisdom is this which is given unto him, that even such mighty works are wrought by his hands?" ~Mark 6:2
The quality of being Just was in Jesus in regards to the doctrine that his Father sent him to teach and exemplify. He was no push over. He was no wimp. He had an agenda and was constantly driven to fulfilling it. He was focused and committed. He was an intense, take-charge kind of man.
“And they were astonished at his doctrine: for he taught them as one that had authority, and not as the scribes.” ~Mark 1:22
Very Male
I’ve had some personal experiences with this part of our Savior’s personality. I have to say that this is seriously one of my favorite things about him. But again, it’s because it’s always done to promote truth (teaching me something so I can grow) and is balanced with his Mercy (comforting me, stabilizing me). I grew up in California. My family often went to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, which is an amusement park right off the beach. There is a roller coaster there called the Giant Dipper. I road it a number of times every time I went there. As I got older and moved away, I stopped riding roller coasters. I was more interested in life’s real roller coasters and the post-nausea deterred me from having much desire to seek out these kinds of amusements. When we went back in July of 2008 for a family reunion, it had been a long time since I had ridden one. By this point in my life I had developed a pretty close relationship with the Lord. I had developed the ability to keep my mind with His predominantly.
“Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.” ~D&C 6:36
I sensed he wanted me to go on the Giant Dipper with my kids. Just have fun with them. I was good watching them enjoy themselves but the instructions were to join them. So I did. Haha. The roller coaster has this drop off in the very beginning that is pretty steep and in the past I always experienced the weightless-stomach-drop fear. But this time when the coaster cars started going over the edge, I could feel His inclinations inside of me. He was riding that roller coaster as if he were in charge of it, as if his foot were on the gas peddle that controlled its speed. His attitude was like, “Bring it on!” I could even sense his desire to increase the speed and altitude. Very male. Definitely not my way of viewing the situation. Yet, after experiencing that with him, I have to say it is one of my top 10 favorite experiences of my life.
Alpha Male
This wasn’t the only time I became more aware of this Alpha-Male-God-like disposition. In August of 2009 on another family vacation in Durango, Colorado at Lake Vallecito, we rented a jet ski. I was in charge of driving it from the dock where we rented it to a dock closer to where we were all staying. This was the first time I had handled a jet ski. I had driven speed boats at Lake Powell but not one of these smaller faster machines. Even though the owners had gone over how to use it, I was nervous. But I took the challenge anyway. So when I got on it with a couple of the kids and started out across the lake, I could feel His confidence inside me, contrasting with my fear. He was urging me to speed up and take some risks. Not crazy stupid risks. He was just telling me to let go a little, relax, have fun. So I sped up. I felt exhilaration inside of me. I felt safe because of him. I couldn't help but exclaim, “Woooohooo!” I sensed that a lot of that need for speed and the exhilaration was him, not me. I was just laughing at it. So funny!
Listen: "Emmanuel" by Amy Grant
So the point of sharing these stories about him is to demonstrate that I felt through personal experience those same Just characteristics that come across in his personality as I read his story in the scriptures. He inherently takes control of the situations he finds himself in. He drives. He is the Alpha Male. As mentioned earlier, some people might have this quality in them and just end up using it to do stupid things. They may force their dominance to accomplish things that result in very bad consequences such as Caesar, Hitler, Napoleon, or other tyrannical historical leaders. Many in our day use it to go overboard in risky behavior and then cry out for someone to save them. Our Redeemer uses it in truth and in balance with his Mercy. That is, he is able to use it to accomplish Sustainable Results that are good—that are exactly what he intended to accomplish. He’s able to see the Results of whatever he does before he even begins. He doesn’t allow himself to get carried away in extremes.
“My name is Jehovah, and I know the end from the beginning; therefore my hand shall be over thee.” ~Abraham 2:8
He Always Has A Purpose
He usually doesn't do things or have me do things just for the heck of it. There is a purpose behind everything. I think his message in hanging out with me on roller coasters and jet skis is that when I am faced with the roller coaster events of life, I need to let go and trust him more. He is my rock. He is my firm foundation. I can rely on him. He knows what he's doing and can handle the situation. He wanted me to look at the stressful situations that come up in my life more as opportunities than things to run away from or avoid. I tend to be very careful to not make choices that end me up in situations I totally regret. We can live our lives by taking too many risks or too little. I tend to err in taking too little. From these experiences, I got the impression that I needed to loosen up my tight grip on life, take more chances, and just let him save me once in a while.
“…he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.” ~Psalms 92:15
“Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.” ~Matthew 7:24-25
Empowerment
A really cool example to demonstrate how I have seen Him up close using this strength of his to empower others (Merciful) happened on one of our Colorado Cares Days. Our stake does this every year. We join our community to beautify our local parks and open spaces. In August of 2013 we were working on digging up fence posts. I got there a little late so there were many people already at work. I noticed some men were sweating profusely and expending all their energy to get just one post out of the ground. There were several of them working on one post at a time and I could see their progress was way slow. I work a lot in my yard so I’m not a stranger to these kinds of activities. I had dug up tree stakes before and I knew that once they were in the ground it is seriously hard to get them out. These fence posts were similar but heavier, deeper, and bigger. I noticed they were trying to use a tool designed to make this process more efficient. But they had broken one of them already so they were just using their shovels to dig it out. So here’s the cool thing. I was watching them and asked about how the tool worked. They showed me and as they did I saw exactly what they needed to do to make it work right. It was like I could just sense what the problem was. I had never used a tool like that before but I somehow knew how to use it.
They needed to make sure the base was at a 90 degree angle to the post before they put pressure on it to ratchet the post out. They hadn’t dug enough room in front of the post so that the tool could sit flat in the hole like that. But once I pointed that out to them and helped them with the first one, they did it in no time. Out popped the fence post and off they went to do the next one. I noticed them teaching the rest of the men after that so that it became a rewarding challenge to get them out instead of an excruciating back-breaking job that took forever to accomplished next to nothing.
I recognized that the “know-how” didn’t originate with me. It was Him. He knows these things and when I work to keep my mind and spirit with him, his knowledge becomes mine. It’s like he’s logged into my mind and he can see what is going on through my eyes as if they were a FaceTime camera, and he basically thinks the solution and it is simultaneously downloaded to my mind. So I just receive his thoughts and inclinations as if they were my own and then do what he would do to resolve the conflict. This kind of experience is pretty common for me when I’m trying to fix things around the house.
But at the Colorado Cares day it could have been a touchy situation. Me telling those men what to do. So I had to help out as nonchalantly as I could. I had to give the least amount of directions to help them see what they needed to do. I couldn’t do it in pride—like a know-it-all. I had to be humble, objective, strategic. In short, I tried to make it look like they were the ones who figured it out and just quietly moved away after they had done so.
“It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” ~Harry S. Truman
Acknowledgment, Admiration, Gratitude
To acknowledge the presence of the Lord inside of me and his Justice-strengths brings me greater happiness than to claim the credit for myself. I would rather admire than be admired. And that’s saying something because I do like to be admired. I just would rather be admired by someone I totally admire. I can’t develop that admiration for Him if I’m always taking the credit.
It is a total joy to see Jehovah in action. I marvel at his Alpha-Male-no-fear character and his ability to fix anything and everything. I love his behind-the-scenes way of sharing these strengths with me and others without worrying about who gets the credit. This method of communicating is taking a back seat to us. That’s pretty hard for someone to do who has so much drive, natural ability, and knowledge about how everything works. He knows all the answers yet he whispers them to us as we ask for them instead of stepping in front of us and doing it all himself.
So this is how I’m seeing the Lord. First, he is so Just in complete truth. Second, he’s imparting his strengths, skills, and knowledge to men, women, and children who actively seek his presence and guidance without trying to take all the credit. We are At-One-Ment with God. To acknowledge him and his Atoning power is our choice, privilege, and gratitude. When we do, he is more apt to hang out with us and give us his precious confidence and guidance. He is amazingly beautiful! I’m so thankful for these experiences. I love to see who he is. It is the Joy of my existence!
Listen: "When You Say Nothing At All" by Alison Krauss
