Consider the Source

Recently, I have learned about three adults who conspired together to kill four people. Two were their spouses and two were their children. In wondering how any person, especially a mother, could commit such an act of horror, I read some articles on the case and watched an interview of the mother’s friend who was not in on the murders, but who witnessed the backstory.

I found out that they believed they were doing it in the name of Jesus Christ. They murdered innocent children in his name. They murdered their spouses in his name. They said they received their instructions via personal revelation. That means they believed they were receiving their instructions from God.

They said that they had been told that they were key players in preparing the world for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. And they apparently believed that role included a Hitler-like elimination of people who were not worthy to continue living. They had concocted a twisted backstory, which they said was revealed to them from spiritual sources, which justified their heinous deeds as merciful and necessary sacrifices.

“Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” ~Lord Farquad quote from the movie Shrek

So when people do horrifying things like this in the name of Jesus Christ, claiming they are receiving their guidance from God, it causes fear and prejudice against religion in general and against the practice of receiving personal revelation from God. 

There have been many groups throughout history who have exterminated an individual or group of people and claimed that they were doing it in God’s name. One example is the early Catholic Church’s inquisitions. The inquisitors put innocent people through an unjust trial and then burned  them at the stake in the name of Christ. Ironically, the people they killed were the real people standing for Christ such as Joan of Arc, William Tyndale, and John Huss (Jan Hus). 

Hitler and his NSDAP Nazi party is another example. They attempted to cleanse their country of subhumans similar to the ideology of the Daybell/Vallow people in the news story I have been reading about. The “Nazi regime was responsible for the genocide of about 6 million Jews and millions of other victims whom [Hitler] and his followers deemed Untermenschen (subhumans) or socially undesirable” (Wikipedia). The Nazis may not have murdered people in the name of God, but it was in the name of what they believed was good and true. They asserted their actions improved their community relationships.

Additionally, in the times of John Wycliffe (early 1300s), John Huss (late 1300s) and Martin Luther (1500s), the Catholic popes sent out armies to force people to adopt their “Christian” religion. If they would not, they killed them.

I think this is one of the most disturbing and alarming behaviors I have ever contemplated. To commit crime, sin, and murder in the name of Jesus Christ is the most monstrous thing I can think of. It's important to me as a follower of Jesus Christ that non-Christians know that there are people and spirits masquerading as Christians but are not really Christians at all.

I think the Daybell/Vallow people really thought they were being guided by God. And I think they did reach for the spiritual world. And I think that some people have a greater awareness of that spiritual world than others. They have a gift. But that doesn’t mean they are necessarily good at discerning the good from the evil spirits that are in that world. Many of these people with this gift struggle with boundaries. Because they have such a high degree of tolerance, empathy, and compassion for others, they want to accept all things as good, right, and true.

Considering the source is about using light and knowledge to discern between good and evil. 

In the physical world, without light, there would be no sight. This same principle is true in the spiritual world.

I found the following quote about light from a website called the Physics Classroom.

“[In the absence of sunlight during the night, and in the absences of] a porch light or a street light, the neighbor's house can no longer be seen; the grass is no longer green, but rather black; the leaves on the trees are dark; and were it not for the headlights of the car, it would not be seen approaching the intersection. Without luminous objects generating light that propagates through space to illuminate non-luminous objects, those non-luminous objects cannot be seen. Without light, there would be no sight.”

Physical light allows us to differentiate one object from another. I’m attempting to use spiritual light to differentiate one way of doing things from another. By more closely evaluating the two very different spiritual sources who are trying to influence us, we can defeat the fear that the Daybell/Vallow people introduced. Setting them side by side to examine the motives, the actual type of counsel received, and the consequences, is shining light upon them to see how they are different from Christians truly receiving guidance from God.

“But, O my people, beware lest there shall arise contentions among you, and ye list to obey the evil spirit” (Mosiah 2:32).

I think it is crucial that we understand that there are two sides to the spirit world and both are trying to influence us. And the evil side is usually trying to masquerade as the good side. Our responsibility is to differentiate between them, discover the masquerade, and choose which ideas we believe are good, right, and true.

So the reason this whole thing shook me is that the Daybell/Vallow people are treading on my personal beliefs in Jesus Christ, in God, in the kingdom of heaven, in angels, and in personal revelation from God. I believe in miracles. I believe in personal revelation. I believe in guidance from heaven. I believe in angels. I believe in God.

These people had the same belief, and claimed that they were connected up to the same God I listen to. The result was they murdered innocent people.

I don’t know about you, but this scared me and has caused me to feel awful and confused. This motivated me to shine the bright light upon the evidence and consider the sources. What these people said and did threatens to undermine something that is foundational to my religious beliefs. So I have to differentiate between what is good and what is evil here. Here’s what the light reveals:

When Jesus asked his disciples who men thought he was, his disciples answered that some people thought he was John the Baptist, Elijah, or Jeremiah reincarnated. Others thought he was a prophet in general. 

Then Jesus asked them, “But whom say ye that I am?” 

Simon Peter answered, “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

Then Jesus told Simon Peter that he came to this truth through personal revelation, which had been revealed to him by his “Father which is in heaven.”

Jesus then said that he builds his church upon this rock – personal revelation – “and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.”

(Matthew 16:13-18)

Frederick Farrar discusses these verses in his biography of Christ: “It was the revealed fact, that they only can acknowledge [who and what Christ is] who are led thereto by the Spirit of God. It told mankind for ever that not by earthly criticisms, but only by heavenly grace, can the full knowledge of that truth be obtained.”

(The Life of Christ by Frederick Farrar, p372)

These two sources make it clear that personal revelation is powerful evidence that enables us to discern between truth and error and should not be discounted.

The following verse from the Book of Mormon reaffirms that being open to personal revelation is a safe and secure way of determining what is true.

“For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do.” ~2 Nephi 32:5

The next verse adds that we should also study the word of God in combination with listening to the Holy Ghost. 

“Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.” ~2 Nephi 32:3

Much of my own personal revelation has come to me in the form of the scriptures I know and have studied throughout the years. Verses are brought to the front of my mind when I pray for answers.

After learning about the Daybell/Vallow case, fear might drive us to believe that yielding to ALL spiritual direction is dangerous. That is evaluating the situation in the dark, without light. Differentiating between the kind of spirit they chose to listen to and the kind of spirit I choose to listen to is using light to differentiate between good and evil.

The scriptures indicate that there are two separate parties of influencers in the spiritual world. Here’s one example that contrasts them:

“And when they shall say unto you: Seek unto them that have familiar spirits, and unto wizards that peep and mutter—should not a people seek unto their God for the living to hear from the dead?” ~2 Nephi 18:19 (a nearly identical verse is found in Isaiah 8:19).

Thoughts and ideas are continuously presented to our minds from external physical and spiritual sources. Some are good and others are evil. There is a gradient of spiritual sources between these two extremes. We have been given the choice to differentiate between the good and the evil. We don’t want to believe everything we hear from other people and neither do we want to believe everything that is presented to our minds from spiritual sources just because we acknowledge it is a spiritual source. We have to be on our guard to filter through these things. We have brains. We can use them. And we have hearts, which we can also use.

And let’s keep it real. Why search for crazy weird things? Why not seek out the answers to our relationship conflicts? Why not seek for ways to obtain Sustainable Joy, which is God’s (not Satan’s) desire for us? 

I have used the gift of personal revelation to figure out how I could become a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, and member of my community. How could I better respond to the inevitable conflicts that arise in relationships? How could I control my knee-jerk reactions? How could I work with my kids to help them overcome their imbalanced behaviors and ways of doing things? The answers I received always included faith in Jesus Christ. This is faith that even though things may not be perfect now, if I choose to keep my own behavior in balance, and endure conflicts without responding with selfishness, and seek to empathize instead of hate, the end result will be good even if I have to wade through temporary times of sorrow and less than ideal circumstances.

Out of all of the thoughts and ideas that enter our mind, we decide which ones we will entertain and which ones we will NOT.  Just because they enter our mind does not mean they are thoughts that belong to us.  The ones we DECIDE to accept as true become our thoughts. If we’re unsure that a thought is good, we can study it out, do some research, and pay attention to our heart. 

Our heart verifies what is good, true, beautiful, meaningful, right, and of God. Our heart will also warn us when something is bad, evil, selfish, ugly, meaningless, wrong, and of the devil. This verification effect occurs while we engage in the research process. Sometimes we have to test ideas out, put them into action, in order to accurately assess their truth. When we continue to pay attention to our hearts, we will know if what we are thinking, saying, or doing is good or evil.

“For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.” ~Moroni 7:15

“Two indicators that a feeling or prompting comes from God are that it produces peace in your heart and a quiet, warm feeling” ~Elder Richard G. Scott

Daybell and Vallow chose to listen to spiritual voices that taught them to elevate themselves in pride and see other people as subhumans or zombies whom they prayed would be eliminated (die) or whom they personally eliminated (killed). 

Others of us have chosen to listen to voices in combination with the scriptures that have taught us empathy, humility, confidence, and gratitude –ways of thinking that teach us conflict resolution, mercy, and promote compatibility in our relationships.

My experience with the voices in my head have been accompanied by peace in my heart and a quiet, warm feeling. This is often very intense. I can’t make myself feel this way. When I start thinking, speaking, or behaving with pride, selfishness, or hatred, I can’t keep this feeling inside me. It leaves. So I can differentiate the daylight from the darkness.

The following counsel is in section 8 in the Doctrine and Covenants:

“Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. Now, behold, this is the spirit of revelation; behold, this is the spirit by which Moses brought the children of Israel through the Red Sea on dry ground. Therefore this is thy gift; apply unto it, and blessed art thou, for it shall deliver you out of the hands of your enemies, when, if it were not so, they would slay you and bring your soul to destruction.”

And in a previous section, it says:

“Blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instructions of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time. Behold thou knowest that thou hast inquired of me and I did enlighten thy mind; and now I tell thee these things that thou mayest know that thou hast been enlightened by the Spirit of truth.” ~D&C 6:14-15

These scriptures ground my faith in personal revelation. Even though the Daybell/Vallow people misused this gift, it doesn’t mean relying upon personal revelation is dangerous and wrong. We are required to shine the light and consider the source.

Because I have studied the scriptures and searched for general truth for so many years and have experienced the confirmation of the Holy Ghost in regards to those general truths, I am able to discern the feelings that come into my heart when I receive more specific revelation for my personal life.

I strive to be wide awake when it comes to differentiating between truth and error. But one of the ways I’ve been tempted is by flattering and prideful thoughts and ideas. I’ve had to learn that these taste different from the true peace and joy that comes from the Holy Ghost, the Savior, and the Father. The pride feels good in the moment. It seems to be on my side, but with experience and practice I have come to understand that it is no friend of mine. Still, I have to be always on my guard to identify these pride thoughts because they are often very sneaky.

This is where I believe the Daybell/Vallow people initially got tripped up. They believed that they were key players in preparing the way for the Second Coming of the Lord. That thought in itself is not wrong. We are all generally encouraged to be key players – to do what we can to prepare ourselves, our families, and our communities for the Second Coming of the Lord. We want him to come. We want to be ready when he does. This is a good thing.

But the Daybell/Vallow people seemed to twist that role and see it as a prideful-top-of-the-pyramid role. They saw themselves as smarter, more righteous, intelligent, and knowledgeable than others. They looked down upon the Untermenschen (subhumans) around them.

I just want to point out that having knowledge, resources, abilities, and talents doesn’t profit us or anyone unless we use them for good.

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal."

Though the Daybell/Vallow people may have indeed obtained some valuable knowledge about the second coming, if they didn’t use it to develop their charity…

“And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing."

And though they may have had the gift of the awareness of spirits and understood some of the mysteries of God, if they didn’t seek to cultivate charity in their hearts…

it profited them absolutely nothing.

(1 Corinthians 13:1-8)

In other words, if we’re trying to obtain knowledge, even if it is scriptural knowledge, for the sake of being better than other people, becoming popular, thinking ourselves above other people, and not for the purpose of applying it to help others, to improve our relationships with God, our spouse, our family and our community, to love people with this Charity (as defined in 1st Corinthians 13), then it profits us absolutely nothing.

IF the Daybell/Vallow people were receiving their guidance from heaven and applying the truths of the scriptures to their personal improvement and to the development of compatible relationships, they would have had charity, charity for their fellowmen and especially charity for their children.

After shining the light on this conflict, I understand the difference between their source and mine. My faith in God has increased and I feel balanced again.

What About Love?

What even is love? For me, I’ve been attempting to figure it out. It seems like this is true for others as well. I just started using Spotify and made my first playlist out of some of my favorite 80s songs. I’ve been listening to Heart sing, “What about love? Don’t you want someone to care about you? What about love? Don’t let it slip away!” And Foreigner sings, “I wanna know what love is. I want you to show me.”

I know that most of the time these 80s songs as well as songs from other generations are singing about romantic love and physical affection. I know romance and physical affection are a part of love. And I do not discount them when considering the meaning of love. 

In the scriptures, Jesus Christ counsels us to love each other. To love each other as we would be loved and to love God with all our heart, might, mind, and strength. So he’s not only talking about romantic relationships. I believe he’s talking about a general way of interacting with each other that can be applied to all types of relationships – marriage, family, and community.

From all of my research and ponderings about what love is, I have concluded so far that it is a an action, a motive, and a state. 

Love Is An Action

As an action, I believe love is sacrifice. When I love someone, I give up my comfortable life to some degree for them. In marriage, I give up all other men to be with my husband. As a mother, I give up spending my time on other life projects that conflict with my ability to parent and nourish my children to the extent that I am able. In my relationships with members of my extended family and friends or others in my community, I share my specific abilities and talents, which hopefully lighten the loads they have to carry.

Right here, there is usually a bunch of judging each other. Who is sacrificing enough for others? Who is loving enough? Is my neighbor loving her kids enough? Is she sacrificing enough? Or does my neighbor see how much I’m really sacrificing for my relationships? 

Who cares?! This isn’t about who is sacrificing or loving better than someone else. That is so twisted. All we need to focus on here is if we are developing compatible relationships with the people right in front of us.

Love Is A Motive

As a motive, I don’t want to sacrifice for ascetic reasons, but for real reasons. I seriously want these other people in my life to be happy because that makes me happy. I guess it comes down to empathy. I literally feel pain when I see someone suffering. Once I was at Chris’ baseball game when he was like 13 years old and another little boy got hit in the head by the baseball. I felt it physically. My soul was affected and I wanted to help him. I wanted to take the pain away from him.

I have come to believe that love is about taking the pain away from others, if at all possible, but it is not taking ALL the pain away from them so they never have to sacrifice. Knowing when to allow others to sacrifice has always been a difficult thing for me. I just want to take all the stress, sorrow, and discomfort away from them. But since sacrifice is love, I would also be taking away their love by attempting to do this. Appreciating, empathizing, honoring, and respecting their sacrifice is what I have needed to learn to do.

I think the real reasons to sacrifice can be summarized into this one goal: to develop sustainable compatible relationships. Relationships that enable all members to live in sustainable joy. Relationship where all members attract the others instead of manipulating, forcing, or guilting them into meeting their needs or the needs of others.

This is one characteristic I have come to see in Jesus Christ as I’ve studied him and experienced his love: He doesn’t want to force, manipulate, or guilt me into sacrificing. In fact, he would rather not have me sacrifice at all for him if that is my only motivation. He wants me to voluntarily sacrifice because I love. And I love because he has loved me like this. He has been real with me. He seriously wants a sustainable compatible relationship with me. And I know he wants that for each of us. He’s willing to negotiate, work it out, figure things out, be flexible, give time and space, and consider ways of doing things that may not be the perfect and simple story-book solution.

Love Is A State

But there are also lines our Savior can’t cross. And the reason he can’t cross them is because of the state of love. The state of love is a result, a continuous relationship, a continuous feeling of love, a continuous attraction. 

I think this could possibly be what the scriptures describe as Charity. It never fails. It can endure suffering for a long time. It’s totally kind. It doesn’t envy the success of others. It isn’t puffed up in fake flattery. It isn’t motivated to get more indulgent pleasure for itself. It’s motivated by sustainable joy. It isn’t easily provoked, it doesn’t think evil. It doesn’t strategize how to manipulate the variables to get what it wants at the expense of others so it has to sacrifice (love) as little as possible. It doesn’t receive any joy out of inequality and having more or less than others. It receives joy from figuring out the truth – how to make relationships work sustainably. It’s able to bear whatever adversity it has to deal with. It believes that sustainable compatible relationships with continuous attraction are possible. It is hopeful, not apathetic or obsessive. It troubleshoots instead of giving up or putting up with conditions and states that are not yet, but potentially can become happily ever after. It is able to endure whatever happens.

So if we want this Charity, there are rules to follow. It’s like a circle, a promise between two or more people, a covenant. There is mercy. But mercy is justice over time. Justice is about keeping our commitments to each other. I have rules that I need others to keep. My kids, family, and friends have rules they need me to keep. You have rules that you need your family and friends to keep. When other people break their commitment to us, they break the rules. 

In the situation where my rules have been broken, I’m the first person to advocate rules, laws, and order. But when I’m the one breaking my commitment to other people, am I the one complaining that there are rules, promises, and responsibilities? 

And WHAT ABOUT LOVE? When it comes to keeping the rules, this is sacrifice. Keeping each other’s rules is a sacrifice. If I complain about having to keep these rules or say that the rules are too demanding and constraining, what exactly am I saying about my love for the person whose rules they are?

Whatever my choice is about voluntarily sacrificing to keep God’s rules and to keep the rules of others, if I want the state of love – Charity – then there are general rules I need to follow. There are no if, ands, or buts. And these rules are usually all about giving, forgiving, repenting. They are about giving Mercy to the extent God has given it to me.

But where is the line? When do "if, ands, or buts" cross that line? I think we can know that when our motive and commitment is love, not asceticism, and not hedonism.