Reality Hit: Smoking Is not a Good Idea

My early life was like finding my way through a dark maze. I had to learn a lot of things by taking a pathway and finding out it was a dead end. This story is about one of those experiences. 

Somewhere around the end of 7th grade, beginning of 8th, I met some new friends. They smoked. One of them gave me a pack of cigarettes. I tried them. I smoked off and on throughout my 8th grade year. This was the year I stopped going to church. I’m not sure which came first – the smoking or the decision to quit going to church. I sometimes smoked with other friends who didn’t smoke. It always made me feel guilty. Even though I generally didn’t feel very bad about doing it, I sometimes was aware that I should be the one setting the example here and I wasn’t.

Nicotine is Extremely Toxic

One side effect from smoking was that it hurt my stomach and gave me diarrhea. About 30 years later in my BYU-I Anatomy and Physiology class, I would learn that nicotine stimulates both the sympathetic (fight of flight) nervous system and the parasympathetic (rest and digest) nervous system. The body doesn’t know what to do because it is receiving conflicting signals. Heart rate becomes irregular because there are simultaneous stimuli to increase and decrease it. My textbook ends this description with, “Nicotine is extremely toxic, and even small amounts can be lethal” (BIO 264-265, McGraw Hill, 2014, p. 561). At 13 years old, I don’t remember being too worried about the long-term effects of smoking. After all, my grandpa smoked, and he didn’t seem any worse for it. And I totally looked up to him. But at the same time, I didn’t like the stomach aches and the diarrhea.

Motion and Smoke Sickness Mixed Together

Towards the end of 8th grade I was invited to a slumber party. We all went to Marriott’s Great American on a Friday night. A group of us went on the birdcage ride. A few of us pulled out cigarettes and started smoking. A number of things happened. Most of the girls did not smoke with us. I sensed they felt uncomfortable. I became conscious of my responsibility to set a good example again. The guilt was intense. At the same time, I was feeling motion sick from the ride. That combined with the dizziness or “buzz” from the nicotine left me feeling super sick. 

The reality seemed to hit me all at once: Smoking is not a good idea.

The next day, I made a decision: I would never smoke again. I never did. 

Guilt is Helpful Sometimes

In hindsight, I recognize the guilty feeling as the Lord’s censure. Because I had been baptized and had made a commitment to stand as a witness of his name, I was accountable. I have been censured or chastised similarly over the years for other things, so I am now more familiar with his voice. And so, looking back at these events, I see that it was him trying to steer me in the right direction. But I also notice that he valued my agency. He didn’t want the reason I decided to quit to be about force or ascetic manipulation. He wanted it to be my choice. Was I interested in taking care of my body and being a good example or not? What was most important to me? I made the choice and we moved on.

The repentance decision triggered a domino-effect of subsequent events. These were good and spiritually progressive events. 

I've written about them here: Change Like A Sunrise.

If you didn't read the last post, you should. It's a good one. It's not only about where Jesus grew up, but also about a quiet, tender mercy that happened while I was touring Israel a few years ago. Read it here: Where Had Jesus Grown Up?