Change Like A Sunrise

It was a Sunday, and the year was 1983. The place was San Jose, California. I wasn’t at church like I hadn’t been for the past year. I was fourteen years old and hanging out at home in my red and white striped shorts and a t-shirt. There was a knock at the door, and I answered it. Two women from my church had come to see me. They introduced themselves as Sister Braun and Sister Schuck, my young women leaders, and asked if they could come in. 

I agreed and showed them into the living room. What followed was a conversation that has echoed through my mind and heart for 37 years. It’s not that it was amazingly powerful or touching at the time. In fact, it was pretty awkward for me. They told me they loved me with tears in their eyes. They invited me to come back to church for 6 weeks. Even though I wasn’t a fan of such mushiness and was anxious for the whole visit to be over, I agreed to go back. 

So, I went back. I don’t remember when the six weeks ended. I lost track of time. There were good friends, boys, love, guidance, leadership, inclusion, and opportunities at church. I needed this community. My ward became my family. My bishop, his counselors, and young men leaders were like father figures to me. My young women leaders were mother figures. And they loved me.

They taught me that I was a daughter of God and that he loved me. They told us all that we had been saved for these last days to perform a special mission for Him. We were youth of a noble birthright. Something stirred inside me. It began to grow.

“Now we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts...” -Alma 32:28

The Promise

Within a year, around my fifteenth birthday, I went to one of the regular interviews that the members of the bishopric have with the youth. This particular interview was with Brother Williams, one of the bishopric counselors. He told me that there is a promise in the scriptures that if I consistently read them, the Lord would prosper me. He took a few minutes to define what prosperity meant – flourishing financially. That appealed to me. During these years, I was very interested in figuring out a way to meet my needs.

In telling me about this, Brother Williams introduced me to a covenant relationship with the Lord himself. He told me about a promise that I didn’t know about before. Up until that time, I tried to obtain some of the things I wanted in ways that were imbalanced and definitely weren’t sustainable. But after hearing about this promise, I latched onto it. I believed it and was excited to test it out.

Change Like a Sunrise

After the interview, I started reading the scriptures consistently. I rarely missed a day. I experienced light. That’s the best way to describe it. It was like the sun rising so gradually, I barely even noticed it and the changes that were occurring inside of me. But in hindsight, I can see the movement, the progress. Over time scripture reading became a habit. Little by little, I learned a better way of living – a better way of obtaining my desires and resolving my conflicts. Many imbalanced thoughts, words, and actions were balanced within a year. But other more difficult relationship issues would take me more time to figure out, realize, and correct. Oh, and financially, I've always had enough and to spare. 

See my post: My Financial Advisor and I Was On a 500-mile Bike Trip for some examples of how that happened.

I Was Part of a Miracle

When I was sixteen, I was at a youth fireside at our bishop’s home – Bishop & Sister Hunter. They were spotlighting our leaders. The leaders had a bunch of questions to answer beforehand. When they did Sister Schuck’s spotlight, they told us things about her like her favorite color, where she was born and grew up, etc. I can’t remember the details, but I do remember one of the questions: What is one of your most spiritual experiences? They read the answer – Reactivating Gretchen Nahinu. I was astonished. I had forgotten who I was before and hadn't realized the full story.

Later she told me that she had received such a strong impression to go to my house and invite me back to church. And then she had watched me grow and change over the years. I was a part of her miracle and I hadn’t been fully aware of it. The realization caused me to reflect on the changes that had occurred in me and her role in my conversion. I also became more aware of the Lord's role in my life. He had come for me. The atonement of Jesus Christ is real.

I owe so much to Sister Braun, Sister Schuck, and Brother Williams. The feelings of awkwardness that I had when I first met them have turned into feelings of complete gratitude. I am so thankful that they came for me and taught me about my relationship with my Savior. It was through these and many other good people in my life, scripture study, prayer, and personal revelation that my relationship with Him has been developed. And it has been through this personal training relationship with him that I've been able to rebalance, work through the more difficult issues that I have been assigned to overcome throughout my lifetime, and find Sustainable Joy.